Tuk-tuk

After leaving our hotel only ten minutes ago, we are once again lost. It is hot, sticky, and our feet are heavy and sore. Night has fallen and a whirl of cars purr around us. Bangkok's web of streets has baffled us again. I'm sure I could find a streetlamp, pull out a map, and retrace our steps, but we are just too exhausted.

We flag down a tuk-tuk and he careens to the side of the road with a large giddy smile on his face. “Hello, my friend! Where are you going?”

Like fools we climb into the small taxi, relieved to be off our feet, and fail to negotiate a price before taking off. “Chinatown,” I command.

I know we're close, and an honest tuk-tuk driver should only charge 50 Baht, but I'm sure this one will charge at least a hundred. “How much do you want to pay me?” he asks.

“What ever you'd like,” I respond, surprised at myself for talking more foolishness.

“200 Baht,” he quickly replies. That's crazy you blood-sucking scam artist!

“But, I have a proposal,” he rattles off in broken English. “I have a friend who owns a clothing store. I take you to his store and you go in and pretend like you're interested. You don't have to buy anything. After five or ten minutes you leave. He gives me free fuel. Then I take you to Chinatown for only 100 Baht. You help me and I help you.”

Oh, boy. What have we gotten ourselves into? Jenelle and I agree to the shady proposition, and in an instant the driver makes a right-hand turn and we are racing through unknown streets and might as well be traveling to Timbuktu.

Tuk-tuk in Ayutthaya

Five minutes later, we pull up to a tailor shop. Bangkok is famous for its cheap tailored suits. Although the idea has crossed my mind, a brand new suit just isn't in the budget for this trip.

We walk inside and are immediately ushered into a back room by a swarthy-skinned young man wearing a Rolex watch, à la mode gray slacks, a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and glasses that make him look like Elvis.

He begins to pull out fabric and we play along and I choose a light black color that I think would look well on me. We lie to him and say we are from Canada. I try on a couple of suit jackets and he determines that the second one looks perfect on me. I look at myself in the mirror and admit that a new suit would be nice, but right now we are just trying to figure out how to get out.

“How much,” I ask, genuinely curious, but still playing along. He punches some numbers onto a calculator and hands it to me to examine: 11,000 Baht. Quickly, I divide it by thirty-three, then erase it so he won't catch that I am converting to U.S. Dollars.

“Not bad,” I say. “Are you guys open tomorrow?”

“Yes, but fifty percent off is only tonight.”

Jenelle quickly chimes in: “That looks really tempting, but we would have to go back to the hotel where his brother is. His brother is in charge of the expense account. We don't have any money right now.”

He gives an incredulous look and says, “But fifty percent off is only tonight.”

Soon, we are able to weasel our way out of the tailor shop, and to our delight, the tuk-tuk driver is there waiting for us. Once again, we whiz off into the night, going who-knows-where.

Have you ever played pin the tail on the donkey, where they blind-fold you and spin you round and round and round? That's how it feels as we ride in the back of this tuk-tuk, hot and humid air blowing on our face, trusting a stranger who could drop us off anywhere in Bangkok.

After some high-speed traveling, our driver makes a turn, and suddenly there is a cluster of neon signs in Chinese script and packs of street stalls all along the sidewalks. I know where we are. We are on Yaowarat Road.

Yaowarat Road

The tuk-tuk is the official tourist taxi of Bangkok, Thailand. They are everywhere. They line the streets vying for business, and any time a tourist walks by you can hear a chorus of: “Tuk-tuk? Tuk-tuk?”

A different "model" of tuk-tuk in Southern Thailand.

This three-wheeled motorized contraption is the Thai version of the rickshaw. The name is onomatopoeic, imitating the sound that an engine makes. They may be used for any purpose, but in Bangkok they are largely used as a taxi. 

There are a few things that the visitor should know about the tuk-tuks and their drivers. First of all, they are all businessmen and are ultimately looking after their own pocket book. It is wise to negotiate a price before you commit to ride. If they know you are going to a large tourist destination like the Grand Palace or a Muy Thai fight, they will likely charge you much more. Also, if you are American, they will automatically believe you have deep pockets. Beware!

Around some of the famous attractions such as Wat Pho and the Grand Palace, they will hang out and tell tourists that the place is closed for the day. They do this in hope to lure you into a ride to somewhere else.

In spite of the warnings, taking a tuk-tuk ride is a must while you are in Bangkok. They are convenient and still relatively cheap. And best of all, it is just like a ride at Disneyland! An open-aired spin through the city with someone who barely speaks English to an unsure destination, is truly an adventure that no one should miss.

A villager uses a tuk-tuk on the southern island of Ko Klang.

The tuk-tuk experience varies in other areas of the country. In Southern Thailand, we learned that they had a different “model” that was a motorcycle with a cart attached to the side. Although we saw it used to transport people from time to time, it was certainly not a major form of taxi. The people primarily used it to carry goods and to give friends a ride. Sometimes they would use it as a vending cart and either sell food as they drove, or would park it at a market and set up shop.

Have you ever wondered what it's like to ride a tuk-tuk? Below is a video that I put together combining two trips—one from Wat Saket to the Grand Palace, and then a second on to Chinatown (not the same trip described above).

If you pay attention, there are many points of interest that you will see while cruising through Bangkok. Look for Wat Rajnadda, a pink taxi, Democracy Square, a picture of the king, other tuk-tuks, Grand Palace, road construction, 7-eleven, Kentucky Fried Chicken, tourist with a cowboy hat, Chinese lanterns . . . 

Enjoy! ♠

Thai Food for the Tourist: From Bananas to Bugs

Typical meal in Thailand: We are walking near Pratunam Market in thick and balmy air. A small stand at the side of the street is selling fish and rice soup for 40 baht, so we point to the sign, hold up a finger, and articulate the word “one” in easy-to-understand English. They nod in comprehension and whisk us back inside the small, dark room behind their stoves and bowls and fresh ingredients that are set up along the street. Jenelle doesn't want hot soup in the middle of the day, so I am the only one eating.

We sit down on stools, next to a table. At the edge of the table, next to the wall is a selection of condiments, consisting of nam phrik pla (Thai peppers and fish sauce), roasted dried peppers, palm sugar, and another sauce I don't recognize. There is also a holder full of chopsticks.

A nice elderly woman brings me a bowl of steaming soup. It looks similar to congee, only not so thick. Among the chucks of fish are vegetable greens that look like scallions and cilantro. I use my spoon to scoop a bite of rice and broth. A thin layer of perspiration grows on my forehead.

Before my second mouthful, I decide to do as the locals, and sprinkle dry peppers into the soup. As I take another bite, the spicy flavor has now melded and my mouth is burning and sweat is drizzling down my face.

A blast of heat blows in from off the street. I use my spoon to drink some broth, hoping to cool my mouth from the pepper, but the broth is boiling hot and does nothing to stop the sweat.

After a third bite my nose begins to run and I reach for a napkin to blow it clean. But in Thailand the napkins are like a thin sheets of toilet paper, and one sheet doesn't do much for my runny nose. I grab another sheet and wipe the sweat from my forehead. Then I man down another bite of soup.

This rendition of a typical Thai meal doesn't sound as romantic as what you might read in a tourist brochure. But when you combine the heat, spice, and piping hot food, then this is a scenario you're likely to encounter. (My wife avoided much of this by skipping the peppers and hot soups.)

Aside from an occasional non-romantic lunch, the food in Thailand is wonderful! Walking the streets in Bangkok, or almost any other city, is like perusing an endless buffet of novel foods. 

I have selected a few dishes and snacks that we ate while on our trip. I know the name of some, but not all. Eating in Thailand is often a crap shoot: sometimes you are pleasantly surprised, and other times you are wondering what you just ate. But this is the part of the joy of world travel.   

Fried Basil and Pork (Pad Krapow Moo Saap).  This is a simple dish that tastes exquisite. The key ingredient is holy basil, which is difficult to find in the states. Often, it is topped with an egg.

Thai Style Fried Noodles (Pad Thai).  On our way back to the hotel, I ordered this dish from a lady in a small shop working by herself.  In the meager, ground-level room was one plastic table with two chairs.  We watched her pull the fresh ingredients from a miniature refrigerator and then cut them on a wooden board, first the tofu, and then the green onions.  

She fried the tofu with a scoop of seasonings, and then added an egg to the wok. Then she fried the noodles with a handful of bean sprouts, added some red sauce from the fridge, and eventually returned the egg mixture back to the wok.

I ate it sitting at the plastic table. Several flies swarmed the hot room. It appeared to me that she lived behind the storefront where she cooked. The dish cost 40 baht. 

Fried Rice (Khao Pad). We didn't eat fried rice as often as I thought we would, largely due to the fact that there were so many other foods to sample.  The fried rice pictured here is served in a fancy shape, with a circular egg on top.  Cucumbers, tomatoes, cabbage, and lettuce accompany the dish.

Fish.  Okay, so I don't know what kind of fish this is, but I ate the whole thing except bones, head, and tail. Especially in the south, we saw a lot of fresh fish for sale at the markets. You pick it out and they grill it right in front of you. This one is at a floating market near Bangkok.

Grilled Banana.  Although we found this in Chinatown, you can come across it anywhere in Bangkok. This simple snack is grilled right in the peel and is soft enough to use a spoon.

Tamarind.  When you crack open the woody outside shell, you find a jelly-like delight in the middle. Tamarind is found in many Thai dishes such as massaman curry, but it can also be enjoyed on its own as a snack. Just buy a small bag, crack the shell like a peanut and slide off the tangy fruit with your teeth.

Beef Noodle Soup (Kuay Teaw Nua).  If I were a starving traveler in Thailand, I would make beef noodle soup my staple. It is cheap, plentiful, and nutritious. Akin to Vietnamese Pho, this soup contains tender chunks of meat, leafy greens, and a flavorful broth. Spice it up with roasted chili flakes and you'll have a savory meal. Total cost usually around 40 baht ($1.15).

Purple Rice in Banana Leaf.  We found this item at a night market in Krabi Town, but didn't know what it was until we unwrapped it. The purple rice inside was steamy, kind of creamy, and slightly sweet. We still don't know the true name. Just a typical experience when strolling the streets in Thailand.

Ice Cream on a bun (Itim Khanom Pang).  This cold dessert is a wonderful snack in the sweltering heat of Thailand. It is literally translated “ice cream bread” and is served in a bun that resembles a hot dog bun. First, a layer of sticky rice is placed on the bread, then scoops of coconut ice cream. It is drizzled with chocolate, or sweet and condensed milk, and topped with peanuts. The bun soaks up the ice cream as it melts away.

It is interesting that a friend of mine, whose mother is from southeast Asia and now lives in the States, used to eat this snack all the time. Until she got older and learned better, she thought that ice cream was always served on a bun!

Coconut water.  Coconut water is the “juice” inside of young green coconuts. I honestly don't know how they supply enough coconuts for the demand, because it takes one coconut for each serving of water. A common way to serve the beverage is to have the vendor use a butcher knife and cut open the shell right in front of you, then serve it with a straw. Another common way to drink it is from a bag. A straw is inserted and the top tied off so nothing leaks out. Either way, it is a refreshing treat.

Green Kit Kats.  I'm pretty sure these were green tea flavor. We had to buy them just because they were green.

Breakfast.  I don't know exactly what the common Thai person eats for breakfast. But on the streets and in the hotels they tend to sell a small selection of morning food including fried eggs, toast, and pancakes with chocolate syrup. One of my favorites is a bowl with sliced mangoes on the bottom, topped with plain yogurt and a muesli oatmeal blend. When I saw a local come to the same place to eat, he ordered fried pork and holy basil with rice.

Fish Ball Soup.  I ate this dish late at night in Chinatown. The ingredients seemed very simple: fish broth, two kinds of fish balls, a small amount of noodles, and some greens.

Bugs.  I couldn't leave Thailand without trying the bugs, right?!  With a previous experience many years ago of consuming edible insects, I didn't think this would be a problem. The texture might be a little different, and they might leave a slightly different taste in the mouth. They would probably taste like potato chips, or anything fried.

It was Saturday evening and Chatuchak Market was my battleground (after dark is when the bug-selling carts come out). The cart came with seven varieties of insects. I hoped to sample only two or three, but to my dismay they were sold by the tiny bag—full of only one kind of bug.

So I spent 20 baht on the first bag, and 40 baht on the second. The first bug to be popped into my mouth appeared like a fried inch-worm. As I began to chew, it was the texture that didn't agree with me. It felt as if all one hundred of the little critter's legs were wedging between my teeth. Although crispy, it didn't taste at all like a french fry or potato chip.

Enough of that kind of bug. I went for bug number two, hoping it would be better. This one was shorter, but a bit fatter. It was in the shape of a tiny cocoon. My teeth sank into the creature and instantly I could feel the barky, larva-like texture on my tongue. I couldn't see it of course, but it felt like brown smashed guts . . . and it was inside my mouth!

I quickly spewed the whole thing out and swished my mouth with bottled water. I also decided there is nothing glorious about eating bugs while in Thailand. Needing to expunge the taste from my mouth, I bought an orange juice from the nearest vendor.

Dragon Fruit.  With a name like “dragon fruit” and a vibrantly red exterior, we had to give this edible a try. Having come from a non-tropical land, I had never eaten a pitaya fruit, as it is formally called. The inside texture and taste resemble that of a kiwifruit, especially because of its tiny black seeds. The dragon fruit is a bit more mild.

Vietnamese Fish Pho.  Since Thailand is a neighbor to Vietnam, I had to try the Pho. Although I've never had “fish” pho before, it didn't seem too different than what you might find at a Vietnamese restaurant in the United States. But what I found curious were the condiments. Usually, Pho is served with hoison and siracha sauce. Siracha even originates in Thailand. Neither of these were found at our table. Instead, a small tray with roasted pepper flakes, palm sugar, fish sauce, and nam phrik pla, all the typical Thai condiments.

Green Curry (Gaeng Kiaw Wan) and Spicy Green Papaya Salad (Som Tum). This was our last meal in Bangkok, and I will admit that it was more for the view than the food. Along with a plate of rice and a can of Schweppes, we sat on the rooftop restaurant of our hotel and watched the sunset over the Chao Phraya River. A slight breeze blew as the lights of the city slowly came on. We relished every bite of our meal, knowing it was our last night in Thailand. ♠