Death occupied my mind as I trudged up the steep mountain trail alone.
Just the day before we had learned that my brother-in-law was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer that had spread to his liver. The prognosis was grim. I thought of him, his three kids still living at home and his wife.
This morning I stopped at the cancer center for my semi-monthly “injection,” which is nothing more than a shot in my arm to fight a mutation of blood cells. I passed through the room with patients in large recliners receiving chemo treatments. One was Volney Morin, a patron on my mail route. He used to come out and talk at the mailbox, but that was before he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. As I passed through I waved at his wife who sat lovingly by his side. Volney sat on the chair, hooked up to tubes, sound asleep with mouth wide open.
I parked at the trailhead at 9:45 am. It was 75 degrees and as I began to walk along the sandy path, my mouth felt a dry sensation and I wondered if maybe I wasn't hydrated enough, or if I should have brought more water. I remembered the last time I hiked this trail and recalled the long, steep and torturous path. It's too late now, I thought. And I continued.
This hike was part of my “peaks over age fifty” goal that I had set, hoping to climb 35 peaks in only five years. I had already knocked out two, and this one was nearly a fait accompli. All I had to do was put in the work. I had hiked most of this trail a few years ago, all but the last two miles. It would be an easy add-on, I thought.
I kept my head down, looking for rattlesnakes. I had been on this trail twice before and saw rattlers both times.
I chose to ration my water and not drink until I was an hour into the hike. At the sixty minute point the trail had taken on a steeper pitch and I sat in the shade of an oak bush and guzzled ice-cold water from my tumbler.
It was at this point on the trail that I recalled another memory regarding death. Yesterday was the five-year anniversary of the death of my friend, Dave Bolton. His wife posted it on Facebook. Dave was the exact age that I am now. We went on many hikes together and it was on a hike (although not with me) when he collapsed and eventually died of heat exhaustion.
Death was real. Death was all around me. Death demanded respect.
I crested the steep slope and was now overlooking more rugged mountains. The modern world was now a long ways away. I thought of my cell phone and wondered how much battery I had left and cussed myself for not bringing a battery pack. Then I remembered that I didn't bring a flashlight either. I thought I would have plenty of daylight but then envisioned the scenario of myself trying to walk off the mountain using my phone as a flashlight and having only a sliver of battery left. Indeed I had been foolish.
My intent was to hike to the top of Big Point, elevation 10,023 feet. Previously I had summited Mount Baldy, which is accessed by this same trail, but Big Point required at least two additional miles and an extra thousand feet of elevation gain.
I took note that the trail was not well maintained. A few people had been up here, including someone on a horse, but tall growth covered many sections along with dead trees that had toppled over the winter.
A rivulet of water crossed the path, which was a relief. I could refill my water bottles here on the way down if I needed to. I remembered this stream from my last hike, which was about the point where I departed the trail and bushwhacked to Mount Baldy. This time I would continue on the trail.
From this point forward, the trail began to deteriorate quickly. Entire sections seemed to be missing. Large trees that had fallen during winter blocked the way with no effort from a chainsaw to remove them. This frustration reminded me of another time on another trail on Pine Valley Mountain when the trail suddenly disappeared. It made me wonder if I was really bad at route-finding or if the Forest Service was just really bad at maintaining their trails.
The trail on which I now hiked gradually diminished, then completely disappeared. At this point I was in a little valley with hills all around. Each slope was choked with aspen and oak. Two little streams ran down opposing hills and coalesced into one. I had no clue which way the trail should go, so I decided to try the no-trail way.
Bushwhacking proved to be ten times slower that walking on even the most pathetic path. I stepped over fallen trees, pulled myself up steep hills with sapling aspens, and cussed the Forest Service for not maintaining their trails.
My goal was to get to the top of a very tall hill and see what was on the other side. Time was of the essence now and I thought very much of the battery life left on my phone and the fact that I had no flashlight. I have to turn around at 3 pm, I told myself. That would give me an hour. I couldn't risk it. The worst case scenario was that I turned around and couldn't find the trail, and then have the battery run out on my phone. And, yes, the thought of death crossed my mind.
I spent the next hour pushing through a tedious forest. Once I heard a deer snort and take off without catching a glimpse of him. I was making very little progress, and by this time I knew I wouldn't make it to Big Point. At least I wanted to make it to the top of the hill.
And at last I did.
I scrambled up a final rocky knoll and there I found a semi-decent view of what laid ahead. I saw Big Point in the distance and determined I was still a couple miles away. What a disappointment. I wasn't even close!
I descended the knoll and found a nook where I could relax and eat a sandwich. I certainly wasn't out of the woods yet, both literally and figuratively. I still had to return through that tangled jungle and hope to find the trail.
The entire adventure left me plenty of time to think. Was this a waste of time? I think not. I gained valuable experience and my legs got a workout. I learned lessons that I hoped to correct next time. And most of all, I learned to enjoy being alive. Each day is a gift. For some people, their days are numbered. For others, their days are done. For myself, I didn't know what lied ahead.
Luckily for me, I found the trail and made it down the mountain before sunset. The entire hike I passed no one. I was alone. Except for at the very bottom, about half an hour to the end, I passed what had to have been a homeless man pushing a bicycle up a rocky gully that was a sorry excuse for a trail. On his bike were strapped about four gallons of water and other bags with aluminum foil and whatever he might need to survive. He stopped and talked with me for a minute, asking me for a smoke and cursing some of the previous landowners in the area. I felt bad for the man. Now it was his turn to trudge up the steep mountain trail alone. ♠
No comments:
Post a Comment